If there is one thing about healing that I have noted down a few times, it would have to be that the process of healing could easily be beaten by a 100-year-old turtle walking uphill.
It does not even stand a chance against that expeditious turtle.
Healing takes time.
I have been in a little cocoon of safety lately and have been doing lots of just that: healing. Partly because I have started reading, or more so working through ‘The Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron. This amazing book was first recommended to me about two years ago.
(Here we have a prime example of me standing in my own way. Me listening to your recommendations still has a slight chance against that turtly healing though.)
The book and the work it suggests is showing me a bunch of other ways I am self-sabotaging, apart from not listening to recommendations.
I am meant to only read one chapter a week for 12 weeks (and that’s the kind of speed reading I can easily commit to). During these 12 weeks I am also writing three full pages every single morning, called the Morning Pages. That is where the real magic started.
The first thing that happened for me was that I started to reconnect with my handwriting. How boring, you say. Well it’s only going to get better (stay tuned).
I also have weekly homework that helps me uncover all sorts of buried emotions.
I have never been excited about homework like this. (Adulthood is not what I expected it to be.)
My homework means working through a bunch of questions about my sense of creativity, my circle of friend, my habits, and a few questions that I wanted to dismiss as quickly as any morning show on any TV channel ever.
Those are the questions that have given me the most amounts of insight. I do not feel that different yet (by that I mean, for some reason, I have not been knighted yet), except from the fact that I have actually started building a cocoon by ripping the piles of dirty clothes that I find lying around everywhere.
I am trusting the process. I know. I am healing.
“They asked her,
‘What is the key to saving the world?”
‘You. You are the key. Heal yourself, know yourself, make yourself whole and free. Release all limits so that your love can flow unconditionally for yourself and the world, this will open the heaven of your heart completely and it will guide you without fail.'”
Yung Pueblo | You are the answer
Healing has it’s own groove
Turns out, you can not rush healing because you want to be better by Christmas and show everyone, too.
You probably still can’t ‘heal on command’ even when you think you have done the bulk of the work already and have healed the equivalent of the rainforest that is cut down every single day. (I’m sorry for the sad analogy. I am practising being a vocal activist for our planet and the the animals. Won’t somebody please think of the animals.)
It might feel like you are stuck.
I feel that way at the moment. (This is your cue to tell me I’m doing great. Thanks.)
It might feel painfully slow.
It might feel overwhelming at times, like you could never be done.
You go to sleep feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
But then you wake up and realise it’s a brand new day.
You might heal a wound you never knew existed until you have already instinctively stuck a little Mickey Mouse band-aid over it. (You are getting better at taking care of yourself.)
Keep shining light onto what lies beneath. You might find more hurt than you expected but eventually you will heal.
Your awareness does that.
It carries a torch, plenty of cartoon band-aids, and even a real First-Aid-Kit.
While your awareness might look different and carry other things that you find more helpful (which would be WHAT?), mine looks exactly like that. It also wear a cap backwards because it can totally rock that look.
Maybe you will heal a little the next time you make time to take a bubble bath (make it extra bubbly). Maybe a little during the next yoga class you take. Maybe while you are preparing the next nourishing meal for yourself or your loved ones. Maybe during your next run out in nature or during you next walk with your dog.
Be patient. Keep taking time to take care of yourself.
Keep being selfish, because there is really no such thing. If you focus on yourself and heal yourself, you heal the world.
I would highly recommend The Artist’s Way to anyone who dreams of living a creative life. I trust that you take recommendations that come from the heart more seriously than I did. But even if you are exactly like me, you will love yourself for picking this book up in two years’ time.